I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
