plz talk dirty to me
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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