Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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