Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
