Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize