rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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