I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
