At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize