It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
