where am i from again
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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