Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
