so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
