how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize