Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
