You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
