Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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