I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
