he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
