I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
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