apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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