The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize