yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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