god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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