Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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