Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just got carded by a ten year old.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
