that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
