i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
