All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
