Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
