I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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