she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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