I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
