called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
