we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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