i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize