I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
