I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize