I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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