Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
40s are totally the cure
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
