My liver just broke up with me...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
