Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
