This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
