Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
