Do you still have your period?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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