a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
