It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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