Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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