i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
