quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize