bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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