whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
