worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
