He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
