your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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