The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
