So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
