Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
If I die, sorry about rent.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
