Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
