So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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