I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
