I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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