Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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