If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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