i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize