I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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