He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize