If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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