Whod you bang
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
