this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
