We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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