the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
