Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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