Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
