Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
