ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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